i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Operation Purity has been aborted
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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