Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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