I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
why is half of my head shaved?
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