when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize