just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
