reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
