Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
