I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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