There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
we're so committed to being not committed
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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