I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
