I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
barbara walters just said penis...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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