Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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