I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
