my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
