I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
