I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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