I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
