Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
