8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
