Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
