Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
