i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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