My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
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