Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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