About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
