that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
