i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
