I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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