If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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