So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
