first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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