My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
should my penis look like a turkey
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
