She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
