I seem to have left my pride at pride
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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