I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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