Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
