I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
