I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
