I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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