I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
