Christians are straight up FREAKS
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
My liver just broke up with me...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
