ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
everyone is single if you try hard enough
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
