Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize