I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
How naked do you want me to be?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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