Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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