Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
