Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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