It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
