i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
