i just wanna soil my oats bro
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
nutella sex= disaster
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
