did you get engaged???
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
