Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
