Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
