I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
