Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
