FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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