why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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