So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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