i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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