i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
