North Korea, Best Korea!
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
