respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
