Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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