so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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